a rant

i know that i can be annoying at times. we all can. but there are certain things that i have no tolerance for. and they are, in no particular order, as follows:

1. people who walk in the center of the sidewalk on rainy days with huge golf umbrellas. you don’t need a huge golf umbrella because you’re not playing golf. AND if you insist on using a huge umbrella (perhaps there are exceptions i’m not taking consideration of), it would be nice to either hold it higher so other people can pass, or walk to one side of the sidewalk. you can’t have the middle of the sidewalk AND a huge umbrella. you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

2. people who can’t decide which side of the hallway, so they walk on BOTH SIDES. why is this necessary? pick a side, walk on it. the end. ps – this also applies to stairwells.

3. slow walkers. this has GOT TO STOP. maybe you don’t have anything to do, but there ARE other people who do. i’m not saying i’ve got a whole bunch of really important things to do, but if i have a class to go to, i’d like to get there before it’s over. you don’t have to walk 100 miles an hour. but please…a reasonable speed.

4. when you’re shopping and looking through the sale rack at j. crew (or wherever you like to go), and there’s someone like ONE INCH from you just waiting for you to move to the next section so she can steal that cashmere sweater on sale for 50% off. i don’t THINK SO. back OFF.

5. people who talk on the phone in quiet areas of the library. the sign says QUIET AREA. seriously. what more of an indication do you need to stop talking?

6. people who interrupt you in class. yes, i know that geertz and marx really get your motor running, but just because i pause for a minute to think about what i’m going to say doesn’t mean that you can just jump in and cut me off. please let me finish a thought.

7. people who like to show off how much more they know than you right before an exam. you know all the features of the mandible, but THEY have memorized the entire section out of the book, word for word. that’s nice that you know everything, but some of us don’t, so please keep your vast knowledge to yourself unless i ask for help.

8. listserves that reply to everyone on the listserve when you’re trying to just reply to the person that sent the email. sometimes i guess that’s useful, but most of the time, you just get 50 replies to an email you don’t care about.

9. people who feel the need to point out the weaknesses in everything you like. you say, “i like food at so and so a place,” and that person says, “yeah, but blah blah is better for you. and they’re more eco-friendly.” what does that even mean? as in, how do i even know that it’s really “more eco-friendly?” do you know that for a fact?

10. if one more person tells me that drinking diet coke is bad for me, i’m going to rip my hair out (and possibly theirs) by the root. it seems like everything is bad for you. we pick our poisons. some people drink coffee, some people smoke, or eat fatty foods, or drink alcohol…most people do most or all of those things. so stop telling me that i’m hurting myself, because chances are, so are you.

okay i know this is really angry…but i kind of had a bad week last week. and i’m unsuccessfully trying to write a grant proposal that’s going no where, so i’m a little bitter. the next time i write something, it will be less angry, i hope.

but tell me, how many of these things have bothered you too??